“I don’t know how you guys do it. I look at your normal toilets, the ones with seats that are as cold as ice, the ones that don’t spray and buff your nethers with a soothing shower of cleansing H2O, and I shake my head. I look at your dry-wiping ways, and I wonder how your mom raised you.” Farhad Manjoo goes deep in explaining why the electronic bidet toilet seat is the luxury you won’t want to live without.

+ Quartz: Japan tracks electronic toilet seat sales as a measure of national prosperity.

+ “I’m going to go out on a limb and say you probably don’t expose your belly a whole lot.” Jennifer Wright shares the story of the bikini on a site called Racked.

+ “She could go on for another 50 years – all she needs is a new set of tires every now and again.” David Pescovitz with the hare-raising tale of the legless tortoise who was given prosthetic wheels.