Cupertino is reporting about eight feet of cash today. That’s how crazy Apple’s most recent earnings report looks. This is no longer about a company. It’s about an international addiction. Somewhere, a crack dealer just described his product as “selling like iPhones.” Consider this one stat: Apple sold 74.5 million iPhones last quarter (that’s about 30,000 per hour).

+ If you’re a longtime Apple user, then you know the story. First, you convinced your friends to try a Mac. Then you convinced your friends to get an iPhone. Then you convinced them to buy Apple stock. In other words, you’re a good friend. Especially after yesterday’s results were announced, and “Apple rose in value by one entire Yahoo.” Buzzfeed tries to put the ridiculous numbers in perspective.