The web nearly exploded when we learned that Sanrio execs suggested that Hello Kitty is not a cat: “She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat.” Yeah, and next you’re gonna tell me that Snoop is not really a Dogg. Sanrio has attempted to clarify. The Wire has collected the latest updates.

+ Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s numbers suggest he’s got a better than decent shot at re-election. Let that be a lesson to you.

+ Laird Hamilton shoots the pier at Malibu Lagoon and then saves a dude who had lost his board in rough surf. Of course he did. He’s Laird Friggin Hamilton.

+ Brad and Angelina are married.

+ Fx just ordered a show from Zach Galifianakis and Louis C.K. It’s about a clown. Enough said.