The Bottom of the News

According to his family, Shri Ashutosh Maharaj died in January. But his disciples at his Ashram insist that he’s still alive, and is simply meditating.

+ McSweeney’s: Client Feedback on the Creation of the Earth.

+ Breaking: Narcissists are capable of empathy after all. (I don’t know what they hell they expect me to do with that information.)

+ The 9/11 Cheese Plate has been removed from the gift shop.

+ 25 words that are their own opposites.

+ (New feature) Popular from yesterday’s NextDraft: The fraternity musings of the Snapchat CEO and why this doesn’t reflect my views.