“We made small talk in the checkout line at Trader Joe’s. You said that you literally could not live without the salsa you were buying. I wish we could talk again. You used ‘literally’ incorrectly. It really pissed me off. I wish you could literally not live without that salsa, because then I’d take it from you.” The New Yorker: Missed Connections for A-Holes.

+ John Travolta took a lot of heat for his pronunciation of Idina Menzel’s name during the Oscars. She should just be glad that she wasn’t introduced by Al Sharpton. Wow.

+ Why do you hate watching pundits exchange heated political discourse on TV? Because no one ever throws a table at the other person. Until now.

+ The Cannibal Cop is now a prison chef.