The Bottom of the News

“The phones are taking away the ability to just sit there. That’s being a person. Because underneath everything in your life there is that forever-empty thing … that knowledge that it’s all for nothing and you’re alone … The thing is, because we don’t want that first bit of sad, we push it away with a little phone or a jack-off … You never feel completely sad or completely happy, just kinda satisfied with your product, and then you die.” GQ’s most excellent Andrew Corsello pays a visit to Louis C.K., America’s undisputed king of comedy.

+ It’s never too late to become an environmentalist. Welcome to the world of eco-friendly burials. (I’m still hoping to be recycled.)

+ On his 450th birthday, let’s take a look at 50 everyday phrases coined by the Bard. And here are 20 words we owe to Shakespeare.

+ The perks of being president. Obama got a reservation at the Jiro Dreams Of Sushi’ restaurant. I can’t wait to read his Yelp review.

+ Seriously, CNN needs an intervention.

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