The Bottom of the News

The record for crushing walnuts with one’s head has been completely obliterated. Mohammad Rashid smashed 155 walnuts in a minute. And thanks to the glory of the Internet, you can watch this laudable achievement over and over.

+ We spent $56 billion on our pets last year (and my cat’s still pissed).

+ The secret to holding your breath for 20 minutes.

+ “A few months ago I spent one of those beautiful Scottish summer mornings watching a 450 kilogram pig ejaculate into a coffee Thermos that was being held at an appropriate ‘catch-all’ angle by a bearded Slovenian man. Wait. Let me clarify.”

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