Ever wonder what TSA agents really see, think, and say as you make your way through airport security? You’re about to find out: Dear America, I Saw You Naked (and yes, we were laughing).

+ This real description of what TSA agents see (and laugh at) isn’t all that far from McSweeney’s parody article on the topic. “Please know: I’m just here to measure your penises. And I’m very, very good at it.”